hahaha, blogs

a couple nights ago, i was having dinner at a pretty swank italian restaurant (i paid $8 each for a glass of house wine and experienced the same amount of regret each time), and in my dinner party was this guy. this guy described himself as an 'artist'. i asked, 'why?'. he replied that he was a creative writer, and that he was going to create a blog with 'multidimensionality, specifically 4 dimensions'. apparently, if i add 3 sections to this blog that are 'for that personal shit, that brand, you know', 'for sports, and especially MMA, it's definitely an up-and-coming sport!', and 'for current culture and business ideas', then i can call myself an artist and unabashedly mention that fact to other people.

the same guy, later on in the night, while i was scrunched next to him in the back of a truck (8 people were in the truck), he told me, 'no joke', that the reason neanderthals went extinct is because they didn't have any sweat glands. i asked, 'why do you think this?' and he replied 'i work at this health store, a really cool place for supplements, and this lady said she studied all about it, and she told me while she was in line'. i told him 'i don't think that's true', which elicited his 'don't take my word for it bro! shit's crazy.'

i'm going to tell everyone i meet that im a painter because i draw words with my keyboard strokes and drop knowledge like the fact that frogs smell like pizza. the aspirations of the artist blogateur inspired me to word-vomit all up into this bloated blog-corpse. welcome 2 bloat-blog.

what's the deal with

the pandemic of not replacing toilet paper rolls on the dispenser in homes

four loko triple x special edition not being as fucked up as alluded to

microfiber socks. how the fuck do they work?

mushrooms being default in any multi-vegetable restaurant dish

couches always having that inward angle curve that messes hard with your back, let giving you a reasonably restful sleep

briefs over boxers. otherwise you're a child. why is this? scrunch versus harder to piss? can this be quantified?

fresh soap scents. they smell like someone washed out their gall bladder with antibacterial handwipes and threw it suddenly at you; you have good reflexes, so you catch it, but your hands smell like flowery bile

loose change. yes, my total is 4.75. yes, here's a 5. fuck no, i don't want two dimes and a nickel; that's fucking offensive

sneeze teases. infinitely worse than blue balls, given the intensity over the short period of time. god they're the worst

have a good day

picture of my mom's tiny ass dog

particulate

shimmering venus, mercurial escape artist.
sublime enigma, tumescent soul.
reticence chased anticipation on a string.
and sanguine perdition took its toll.