Saturday, January 22, 2011

what's the deal with

the pandemic of not replacing toilet paper rolls on the dispenser in homes

four loko triple x special edition not being as fucked up as alluded to
kinda fucked up
microfiber socks. how the fuck do they work?

mushrooms being default in any multi-vegetable restaurant dish

couches always having that inward angle curve that messes hard with your back, let giving you a reasonably restful sleep

briefs over boxers. otherwise you're a child. why is this? scrunch versus harder to piss? can this be quantified?

fresh soap scents. they smell like someone washed out their gall bladder with antibacterial handwipes and threw it suddenly at you; you have good reflexes, so you catch it, but your hands smell like flowery bile

loose change. yes, my total is 4.75. yes, here's a 5. fuck no, i don't want two dimes and a nickel; that's fucking offensive

sneeze teases. infinitely worse than blue balls, given the intensity over the short period of time. god they're the worst

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